“Pray the Gay Away?” (Thoughts on Gays and Church)

The first part of the title is in quotes because it is the title of tonight’s episode of Our America, Lisa Ling’s journalistic documentary series. I can not say enough about how moving, thoughtful, and brilliant this new show is. I look forward to it every week! Ling brings such sensitivity, curiosity, and authenticity to the exploration of different groups of Americans that are often invisible or overlooked. It’s one of the few shows on TV right now that I actually recommend to others.

The second part of the title signifies my attempt to articulate my views on this exceedingly divisive issue within the contemporary church. I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now (as part of my horrendously long and drawn out series of “Reconsideration” posts).  Today seems like a good day for it.

This is not the first time I’ve written about the tenuous relationship between the LGBTQ community and the church…and certainly not the first or last time I’ll think about the issue. It’s a complex and spirited issue for those within and without  both the LGBTQ and Christian communities. I think the discourse often does an injustice to the complexity of the issue. And I’m sure my post will too.  But, really I think that there are two starting points from which we can begin (and perhaps a third if you have epistemological dilemmas like I do).  Whatever the starting point, I think the endpoint is ultimately the same when considering two guiding questions: 1)Should gays be allowed to participate in the life of the church?  and 2)Should gays be required to change their sexuality?.  So let’s trace it.

Starting point # 1: Sexualities other than heterosexuality are sinful.
(Important note here. There are a number of homosexuals/bisexuals who agree with this! So it is not strictly a “straight vs. gay” starting point.)
1) Should gays be allowed to participate in the life of the church?
Well, I should hope so!  In fact, I believe there are probably very few churches that would tell a gay person that they cannot come to church services, Bible studies, fellowship gatherings, etc just because they are gay.  The church should (and often does) welcome all who are seeking the Lord.
2) Should gays be required to change their sexuality?
This is major. Those that believe non-heterosexuality is sinful–and particularly those with a robust theology of repentance–will have expectations surrounding this question. I think churches at this starting point will, sooner or later, expect the gay person to either change their sexual orientation or silence that aspect of their identity and live a celibate life.  They want to see transformation. And if that transformation doesn’t happen soon enough…then all sorts of doubts arise about the authenticity of conversion or their devotion to following the Lord.

Hmmm…okay…

Starting point #2: Sexualities other than heterosexuality are acceptable.
Again, the line separating proponents and opponents zig-zags through both the LGBTQ community and Christian community. Complex.
1)Should gays be allowed to participate in the life of the church?
From this starting point, there would be no reason for their exclusion.
2) Should gays be required to change their sexuality?
Again, if their sexuality is acceptable, there is neither the expectation or requirement for them to change.

So far, these two starting points have not arrived at the same endpoint. But there is a third question that I think gets them there, and it is this: Who is responsible for an individual’s transformation?

It is my conviction that true transformation of the heart and will is something that only God can accomplish. If you have ever seriously warred with yourself over some personal characteristic with which you are displeased, then you know the struggle. For me, the taming of my tongue has been and continues to be a supernatural act of God!  It is true that some people have “prayed the gay away” and walked away from that life. And it is also true that some have not, despite diligent prayers.

I am SO convinced that there are some things that only God can change (if He sees fit to do so).  And we cannot impose a timeline on His work. So whether we think it is sinful or acceptable, whether we think they should change or be affirmed as they are, I think the real task of the church is to trust God to do His job. To convict, to convert, to sanctify, to heal, and to redeem. Not just “them”…but us too. And it is our job to love and accept all weary sojourners on the quest toward a more meaningful, more faithful, more Jesus-full life.

For me, the question of whether or not non-heterosexuality is acceptable has become irrelevant. Whether it is or it isn’t, I cannot change another person.  Whether it is or it isn’t, sometimes people can’t even change themselves.  Whether it is or it isn’t, our response ought to be the same….to graciously accept each other as we grow in our faith, AND LET GOD DO THE REST!

Coming Back/Out

Sooooo…Jennifer Knapp is back on the music scene.  And she’s a lesbian.

I can’t figure out if I’m surprised or not. Yes, I’m surprised.  She was a major Christian recording artist with the kind of fan base that generally disapproves of non-heterosexuality.  No, I’m not surprised. There are so many people of all sorts living in silence about their sexuality.

It has been interesting to read news articles and blog posts about Knapp’s comeback/out.  It has been equally interesting to read the slew of comments readers post in response to these articles.  And all of it has left me pondering how I feel about this (as if my thoughts or feelings matter one iota in the cosmos!).

I guess at the end of the day, my question is: What does it matter?  Does the fact that she’s a lesbian invalidate her talent?  She has put out some lyrically excellent albums with piercing spiritual insight and great musicianship.  Does her being a lesbian nullify that contribution?  Does her being a lesbian invalidate her faith?  This, for many, is the bigger question.  I think few would doubt that she was and still is a talented artist.  Many will now doubt if she was or is a true Christian.  But why?  I’m not even all that interested in the question of whether or not homosexuality is sinful (usually a completely fruitless debate).  Let’s assume that it is a sin.  Then my question is: Can a sinful person love Jesus?  Oh! We’ve got to be so careful how we answer that question.  To me, the answer is an obvious “yes”.  It is obvious to me because my own life testifies to it.  In every season of my life, I have struggled with different sins. But in all of those seasons I have still loved Jesus.  So for me, the presence of sin does not discount someone’s faith. Many feel like she is giving up the good fight and giving into sin.  Perhaps we ought to let that be between her and her Creator.

I hope this situation inspires authentic conversations about the intersection of spirituality and sexuality.  Wherever people land on the morality of the issue…I hope we all are compelled to love each other well and to become diligent students of the complexity of identity.

And I hope Jennifer Knapp continues to make great music that moves people the way her earlier work has moved me.

Can Non-Straight People Be Christians??

Yes.

There, I’ve laid my cards on the table.  Now, hear me out, if you’re still on board.

Like the previous post, this post comes on the heels of some conversations with a friend.  I have always been taught that homosexuality (or anything other than heterosexuality) was wrong. I am not going to attempt to answer that question in this post.  The bigger question is: Can someone do or be wrong and still be a Christian?  When phrased that way, an affirmative answer seems obvious.  After all, is there any Christian who can claim perfection in thought or deed?  No.  Yet that does not exclude them from communion with God.  …Or does it?

See, for me, the issue is consistency.  Some would say that an “unrepentant” homosexual cannot be a Christian.  Applied consistently, this means that  the “unrepentant” selfish, greedy, consumerist, exploitative capitalist cannot be a Christian either.   Damn, there goes a lot of American Christians!  (How often do you hear that sermon?)  My point is that the conditions for exclusion/inclusion are not applied consistently.  The conditions for being counted among the family of God is that we repent and believe that Jesus is Lord and Savior. That’s it. Simple.  We are born again and justified and enter into a process of sanctification.  Perfection is not required. It is acquired.

So, if the wrongness of homosexuality or bisexuality excludes those persons from fellowship with God, then a multiplicity of other wrongs are excluding a whole host of other people…and they don’t even know it, ’cause they don’t even see it.

Hmm.

Dr. Boyd Does it Again!

I think Greg Boyd’s explanation of tornadoes and homosexuality honor God and make way more sense.

The Ted Haggard and Oprah Winfrey Showdown

Oh brother!  This is super painful to watch.

So Oprah is interviewing Ted Haggard and his family even as I’m typing this.  Oprah has asked him a lot of questions about his affairs with gay men, etc, etc.  Two things are clear to me from this interview: 1) Oprah doesn’t really understand transformation in a Christian context and 2) Ted Haggard has a powerful testimony.  But it was painful to watch them try to understand each other.  So much bypassing!  I’m not sure they ever made it onto the same page.

It’s possible that this show is going to ignite many conversations–public and private–about sexuality, Christianity, transformation, etc.  We have so much to learn from each other.  At this point in my life, I have learned that sexual orientation is complex.  Judging and pretending to understand yields so little fruit. In no area of my life has transformation happened rapidly, and I am crazy for expecting it to be any different in the lives of others.  And what about the some people that don’t/won’t/can’t change? Well, I won’t try to do God’s job, so that’s between God and those people.

 I think Ted Haggard’s story is heartbreaking but really interesting. I’m glad that we has bold enough to go on Oprah and talk so openly both about his shortcomings (perhaps an understatement?) and about the grace of God that saves, heals, reconciles, and restores.  Oprah didn’t get it.  I have a friend that often says “You’ll get that in a minute.”  I hope Oprah gets that in a minute.  I hope Christians continue to learn how to show grace when people–famous, infamous, and ordinary–fail us.  I hope we learn how to be honest about issues that make us uncomfortable, stuff we don’t understand, stuff that is real, complex, and messy.  God’s grace is never too far away.